SEARCH FOR SPOCK

 

BY

 

VONDA MCINTYRE

 

Paramount Pictures Presents a Harve

 

Bennett Production

 

STAR TREKS iii THE SEARCH FOR

 

SPOCK Starring WILLIAM SHATNER DEFOREST

 

KELLEY Co-Starring

 

JAMES DOOHAN GEORGE TAKEI

 

WALTER KOENIG NICHELLE NICHOLS

 

MERRITT BUTRICK CHRISTOPHER LLOYD

 

Executive Consultant GENE RODDENBERRY

 

Music by JAMES HORNER

 

, Executive Producer GARY

 

NARDINO

 

Visual Effects by INDUSTRIAL LIGHT and

 

MAGIC

 

Based on STAR TREK Created by GENE

 

RODDENBERRY Written and Produced by HARVE

 

BENN-THAT I I Directed by LEONARD NIMOY

 

Read the novel from POCKET BOOKS DOLBY

 

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tilde betilde THE BERRY 5PO[N

 

Chapter 1

 

Spock was dead.

 

The company of the Enterprtse gathered together on the

 

recreation deck to remember their friend.

 

Dr. Leonard McCoy, ship's surgeon,

 

moved half a pace into the circle. As he raised

 

his glass in a final toast, he glanced at each of

 

his compatriots in turn.

 

Admiral James Kirk and Dr. Carol

 

Marcus stood on either side of Carol's grown

 

son, David Marcus. David was Jim's son,

 

as well, unknown until now, but now acknowledged.

 

Commander Uhura, Chief Engineer Montgomery

 

Scott, Commander Pavel Chekov, and Hikaru

 

Sulu, recently promoted to captain, had

 

clustered together along one arc of the circle. Every

 

member of the ship's company showed the strain of the harrowing

 

past few days, except Lieutenant Saavik.

 

Her Vulcan training required her to be

 

imperturbable, and so she appeared. If her

 

Romulan upbringing gave her the capacity to feel

 

STAR TREK 111

 

grief or loss or anger at the death of

 

Spock, her teacher, McCoy could see no shadow

 

of the emotions.

 

McCoy had known the rest of the ship's company, the

 

trainees, only a short time, not even long enough

 

to learn their names. He knew for sure only that they

 

were terribly young.

 

"To Spock," McCoy said. "He gave his

 

life for ours."

 

"To Spock," they replied in unison, except

 

for Jim, who brought his attention back to the ship from

 

some other time, some other place, a thousand

 

light-years distant.

 

A moment after the others had spoken, he said,

 

"To Spock."

 

Everyone else drank. McCoy put his glass

 

to his lips. The pungent odor of Kentucky

 

bourbon rose around his face. He grimaced. The

 

liquor was raw and new, straight out of the ship's

 

synthesiser. He had nothing better. The Enterpr

 

tilde se's mission had been an emergency, an

 

unexpected voyage into tragedy, and Leonard

 

McCoy had come most poorly prepared.

 

He lowered the drink without tasting it.

 

"To Peter," Montgomery Scott said.

 

His young nephew, Cadet Peter Preston, had

 

also died in the battle that took Spock's life.

 

Scott made as if to say more, could not get out the

 

words, and instead drained his glass in one gulp.

 

Again, McCoy could not bring himself to choke down any

 

liquor.

 

When all the glasses had been refilled,

 

David Marcus stepped forward.

 

"To our friends on Spacelab," he said.

 

McCoy pretended to drink. He felt as if the

 

alcohol fumes alone were making him drunk.

 

When no one else came forwardto propose a

 

toast, the quiet circle dissolved into small

 

groups. Almost everyone had begun to feel the effects

 

of the liquor, but the drinking was a futile effort

 

to numb their grief.

 

 

The Search For Spock

 

Whose stupid idea was it to have a wake, anyway?

 

McCoy wondered. Who thought this

 

would help? And then he remembered, Oh, right, it

 

was me and Scott.

 

He orbited the serving table. It gleamed with an

 

array of bottles. He picked one up, paying little

 

attention to what it was, and filled another

 

glass. McCoy and Scott had spent all day

 

preparing for the wake. The synthesiser had tried

 

to keep up with their programming, but it was badly

 

overloaded. Ethyl alcohol was a simple enough

 

chemical, but the congeners any decent liquor

 

required were foreign to the ship's data banks.

 

Everything smelled the same strong and rough.

 

Montgomery Scott beetled toward McCoy,

 

stopped, and gazed blankly at the table full of

 

half-emptied bottles. McCoy picked one at

 

random and handed it to the ships chief engineer.

 

"That's scotch," he said. "Or anyway,

 

close enough."

 

Scott's eyes were glazed with exhaustion and

 

grief.

 

"I recall a time, when the lad was nobbut a

 

bairn, that he. . ." Scott stopped, unable

 

to continue the story. "I recall a time when Mr.

 

Spock..." He stopped again and drank straight from

 

the bottle, choking on the first gulp, but swallowing and

 

swallowing again. Obsession and compulsion drove him.

 

He and McCoy had

 

planned the wake and insisted on holding it, though

 

it was foreign to the traditions of most of the people on board

 

and quite alien to the traditions of one of its

 

subjects.

 

"This isna helping, doctor," Scotty said.

 

"I canna bear it any longer."

 

McCoy climbed onto a chair. Looking

 

down, he hesitated. The deck lay

 

ridiculously far away and at a strange angle,

 

as if the artificial gravity had gone on the

 

blink. McCoy steadied himself and stepped up on the

 

table, placing his feet carefully between bottles bright

 

STAR TREK 111

 

with amber. Then he remembered an alien liquor

 

called "amber" by Earth people. He had not ordered it from

 

the synthesiser because it required the inclusion of an

 

alien insect to bring out its fullest flavor, like

 

wormwood in absinthe. McCoy felt vaguely

 

sick.

 

His foot brushed one of the bottles quite gently,

 

he thought and the bottle crashed onto its side. It

 

spun around and its contents gurgled out, spilling across

 

the table, splashing on the floor. McCoy ignored

 

it.

 

"This is a wake, not a funeral!" he said, then

 

stopped, confused. Somehow that sounded wrong. He

 

started again. "We're here to celebrate the lives of

 

our friends not to mourn their deaths!" Everyone was

 

looking at him. That bothered him until he thought,

 

Why did you get up on the table, if you didn't

 

want everyone to look at you?

 

"Grief," McCoy said slowly, "is not

 

logical."

 

"Bones," Jim Kirk said from below and slightly

 

behind him, "come down from there."

 

Even in his odd mental state, McCoy could

 

hear the edge in Kirk's voice. I backslash

 

venty years of friendship, and Kirk was still perfectly

 

capable of pulling rank. McCoy turned and

 

staggered. Jim grabbed his forearm and tightened his grip

 

more than necessary.

 

"Whatever possessed you to say such a thing?"

 

Kirk said angrily. Even the anger was

 

insufficient to hide the pain.

 

"Don't know what you mean," McCoy said.

 

Permitting Admiral Kirk to help him, he

 

stepped down from the table with careful dignity.

 

David Marcus had inherited his mother's tolerance

 

for alcohol. He had drunk several shots of some

 

concoction as powerful and as tasteless as everclear.

 

Despite a certain remoteness to his perceptions,

 

he felt

 

The Search For Spock

 

desperately sober. His hands remained

 

rock-steady, and his step was sure.

 

McCoy and Scott had insisted, cajoled,

 

ordered, and bullied until nearly the whole ship's

 

company congregated in the recreation hall for this

 

ridiculous wake. Alone or in pairs, people stood

 

scattered throughout the enormous chamber. Across the

 

room, Dr. McCoy and Admiral Kirk

 

exchanged words. Kirk looked both angry and

 

concerned. McCoy adopted a belligerent air.

 

They're both completely pickled, David

 

thought. Fixed like microscope slides. James

 

T. Kirk, hero of the galaxy, is drunk. My

 

illegitimate father is drunk.

 

David had not yet quite come to terms with the recent

 

revelation of his parentage.

 

"Dr. Marcus his

 

David started. He had been so deep in thought that

 

he had-not noticed Captain Sulu's approach.

 

"It'd probably be easier if everybody just

 

called me David," he said.

 

"David, then," Sulu said. "I understand that I

 

owe you some thanks."

 

David looked at him blankly.

 

"For saving my life?" Sulu said, with a

 

bit of a smile.

 

David blushed. He automatically glanced at

 

Sulu's hands, which had been badly seared by the

 

electrical shock from which David had revived him.

 

The artificial skin covering the burns glistened

 

slightly.

 

Sulu turned his hands palm-up. "This comes off

 

in a couple of days there won't even be any

 

scars."

 

"I almost killed you," David said.

 

'iWhat?"

 

"It's true I did resuscitation o n you.

 

It's also true that I did it wrong. I'd never

 

done it before. I'm not a medical doctor, I'm

 

only a biochemist."

 

"Nevertheless, I'm alive because of what you did.

 

 

STAR TREK 111

 

Whether you erred or not, you kept me from death or

 

brain damage."

 

"I still screwed up." Like I may have screwed

 

up everything I've done for the last two years,

 

David thought.

 

"It might not matter to you," Sulu said. "But it

 

makes some difference to me." He turned

 

away.

 

David blushed again, realising how churlish and

 

self-cantered he had sounded. "Captain . . .

 

uh . . ." He had no idea how to apologise.

 

Sulu stopped and faced David again.

 

"David," he said, carefully and kindly, "I

 

want to give you some advice. When we get back

 

to Earth, you and your mother are going to be the center of some

 

very concentrated attention. Some of it will be critical,

 

some of it will be flattering. At first you'll think the

 

abuse is the hardest thing to take. But after a while,

 

you'll see that handling compliments gracefully is an

 

order of magnitude more difficult." He paused.

 

David looked at the floor, then raised his

 

head and met Sulu's gaze.

 

"But I need to learn to do it?" David asked.

 

"Yes," Sulu said. "You do."

 

"I'm sorry," David said. "I really am

 

glad you're okay. I didn't mean to sound

 

indifferent. After they took you to sick bay I

 

realised I'd done the procedure wrong. I

 

didn't know if you'd make it."

 

"Dr. Chapel assures me that I'll make

 

it."

 

David noticed that Sulu avoided

 

mentioning McCoy, but thought better of saying so. He

 

had stuck his foot in his mouth far enough for one day.

 

"I'm glad I could do something," David said.

 

Sulu nodded and walked away. David had not

 

noticed if Sulu drank during the toasts, but the

 

young captain appeared to be completely sober.

 

The Search For Spock

 

He might be the only sober person on the ship

 

right now, David thought.

 

But then David saw Lieutenant Saavik,

 

all alone, watching the party without expression. He

 

watched her, in turn, for several minutes. Back

 

on Regulus I, she had told him that Spock was

 

the most important influence in her life. He had

 

rescued her from the short, brutal life that a

 

halfbreedchild on an abandoned Romulan

 

colony world could look forward to. Spock had

 

overseen her education. He had nominated her to a

 

place in the Starfleet Academy. He was,

 

David sup- posed, the nearest thing she had to a

 

family. That was a delicate subject. She

 

seldom discussed how the cross that produced her must

 

have come about.

 

David walked up quietly behind her.

 

"Hello, David," she said, without

 

turning, as he opened his mouth to speak.

 

"Hi," he said, trying to pretend she had not

 

startled him with her preternatural senses. "Can I

 

get you a drink?"

 

"No. I never drink alcohol."

 

"Why not?"

 

"It has an unfortunate effect on me."

 

"But that's the whole point. It would help you

 

loosen up. It would help you forget."

 

"Forget what?"

 

"Grief. Sadness. Mr. Spock's death."

 

"I am a Vulcan. I experience neither grief

 

nor sadness."

 

"You're not all Vulcan."

 

She ignored the comment. "In order to forget Mr.

 

Spock's death, David, I would have to forget Mr.

 

Spock. That, I cannot do. I do not wish to.

 

Memories of him are all around me. At times it

 

is as if he was She stopped. "I will not forget

 

him," she said.

 

 

STAR TREK 111

 

"I didn't mean you should try. I just meant that a

 

drink might make you feel better."

 

"As I explained, its effects on me

 

are not salutary."

 

"What happens?"

 

"You do not want to know."

 

"Sure I do. I'm a scientist, remember?

 

Always on the lookout for something to investigate."

 

She looked him in the eye and said,

 

straight-faced, "It causes me to regress.

 

It permits the Romulan elements of my character to

 

predominate."

 

David grinned. "Oh, yeah? Sounds interesting

 

to me."

 

"You would not like it."

 

"Never know until you try."

 

"Have you ever met a Romulan?"

 

"Nope."

 

"You are," she said drily, "quite fortunate."

 

Carol Marcus felt very much alone at Mr.

 

Spock's wake. She sat on the arm of a couch,

 

concealed by the subdued light and shadows of a corner of the

 

room. She felt grateful for the translucent

 

wall that alcohol put between her and the other people, between her

 

and her own emotions. She knew that the purpose of a

 

wake was to release emotions, but she held her

 

grief in tight check. If she loosed it, she was

 

afraid she would go mad.

 

The pitiful gathering insulted the memory of her

 

friends more than exalting it. Perhaps Mr. Scott and

 

Dr. McCoy believed it adequate for Captain

 

Spock and Mr. Scott's young nephew. But the

 

mourning of a few veteran Starfleet members and a

 

surreptitiously drunken class of cadets,

 

barely more than children, gave Carol no comfort for the

 

loss of her friends on the Spacelab team. She

 

kept expecting to hear Del March's

 

 

The Search For Spock

 

cheerful profanity, or Zinaida

 

Chitirih-Ra-Payjh's soft and musical

 

laugh. She expected Jedda Adzhin-Dall

 

to stride past, cloaked in the glow of a Deltan's

 

unavoidable sexual attraction. And she expected

 

at every moment to hear Vance

 

Madison's low, beautiful voice, or to glance

 

across the room and meet his gaze, or to reach out and

 

touch his gentle hand.

 

None of those things would ever happen again. Her

 

collaborators, her friends, were dead, murdered in

 

vengeance for someone else's error.

 

Jim Kirk managed to get McCoy down from the

 

table and away from the center of attention before the

 

doctor had made too much of a fuss, and, Kirk

 

hoped, without making a fool of either of them.

 

"I think you've drunk too much, Bones," he

 

said.

 

"Me?" McCoy said. "I haven't had nearly

 

enough."

 

Kirk tried to restrain his anger at McCoy's

 

juvenile behavior. "Why don't you get some

 

sleep? You'll feel better in the moming."

 

"I'll feel awful in the morning, Jim-boy.

 

And the morning after that, and his

 

"You'll feel worse if you have to deal with a

 

hangover and the results of a big mouth."

 

McCoy frowned at him blearily, obviously

 

not understanding. Kirk felt a twinge of unease.

 

McCoy generally made sense, even when he had had

 

a few too many. In fact, his usual reaction

 

to tipsiness was to become more direct and pithier.

 

Kirk glanced around, seeking Chris Chapel. He

 

hoped that between them they might get McCoy either

 

sobered up or asleep. Chapel was nowhere to be

 

seen. He could hardly blame her for avoiding the

 

wake. He wished he were somewhere else himself. He

 

had come only because McCoy insisted. Jim

 

supposed Chris had decided that the hard time

 

 

STAR TREK In

 

McCoy and Scotty would give her for absenting

 

herself would be less unpleasant than attending. Jim

 

suspected she was right.

 

"Come on, Bones," he said. Back in sick

 

bay, the doctor might be persuaded to prescribe

 

himself a hangover remedy and go to bed.

 

"Not going anywhere," McCoy said. He

 

shrugged his arm from Kirk's grasp. "Going over

 

there." He walked slowly and carefully to an

 

armchair and settled into it as if he planned

 

to remain till dawn. Getting him to his cabin now

 

would create a major scene. On the other hand,

 

McCoy no longer looked in the mood to make

 

proclamations. Jim sighed and left him where he

 

was.

 

Jim wandered over to Carol. She was alone,

 

surrounded by shadows. They had barely had time to talk

 

since meeting again. Jim was not

 

altogether sure she wanted to talk to him. He did

 

want to talk to her, though, about her life since they

 

last had seen each other, twenty years ago. But

 

mostly he wanted to talk to her about David. Jim

 

was getting used to the idea of having a grown

 

son. He was beginning to like the idea of coming to know the young

 

man.

 

"Hi, Carol," he said.

 

"Jim."

 

Her voice was calm and controlled. He

 

remembered that she had always been able to drink

 

everybody under the table and never even show it.

 

"I was thinking about Spacelab," she said. "And the

 

people I left behind. Especially his

 

"You did fantastic work there, you and David."

 

"It wasn't just us, it was the whole team. I never

 

worked with such an incredible group before. We got

 

intoxicated on each other's ideas. I could guide

 

it, but Vance was the catalyst. He was extraordinary

 

his

 

"Spock spoke highly of them all," Jim

 

said. It

 

 

The Search For Spock

 

surprised him, to be able to say his friend's name so

 

easily.

 

"dance was the only one who could keep his partner from

 

going off the deep end. He had a sort of inner

 

stillness and calm that his

 

"They were the ones who designed computer

 

games on the side? A couple of the cadets were

 

talking about them."

 

"dis . . that affected us all."

 

"David and our Lieutenant Saavik seem

 

to be hitting it off pretty well," Jim said.

 

David and Saavik stood together on the other side

 

of the recreation hall, talking quietly.

 

"I suppose so," Carol said without expression.

 

"She has a lot of promise Spock had great

 

confidence in her."

 

"Yes."

 

"I'm sorry I had to meet David and you and

 

I had to meet again in such unhappy

 

circumstances," he said.

 

The look in her eyes was cold and bitter and

 

full of pain.

 

"That's one way to put it," she said.

 

"Carol his

 

"I'm going to bed," she said abruptly. She

 

stood up and strode out of the recreation room.

 

Jim followed her. "I'll walk you to your

 

cabin," he said. He took her silence for

 

acquiescence.

 

With some curiosity, Saavik watched Admiral

 

Kirk and Dr. Marcus leave together. Of

 

course she knew that they had been intimate many

 

years before. She wondered if they intended to resume

 

their relationship. She had observed the customs of

 

younger humans, students, while she was in the

 

Academy, however, and

 

 

STAR TREK 111

 

she now noted the absence of any indication of strong

 

attraction between Marcus and Kirk. Perhaps older

 

humans observed different customs, or perhaps these

 

two individuals were simply shy. Mr. Spock

 

had told her that she must learn to understand human beings.

 

As a project for her continuing education in their

 

comprehension, she resolved to study the admiral and the

 

doctor closely and see what transpired.

 

After Dr. Marcus and the admiral left the

 

recreation hall, Saavik returned her attention

 

to the gathering as a whole. She wondered if there were

 

something in particular she was supposed to do. Keeping

 

her own customs after the deaths of Mr. Spock and

 

Peter Preston, she had watched over their bodies

 

the night before Mr. Spock's funeral. Only

 

yesterday morning she stood with the rest of the ship's

 

company and sent his coffin accelerating toward the

 

Genesis planet. She wished she could have

 

sent young Peter's body into space, too. He had

 

loved the stars, and Saavik believed it would have

 

pleased him to become star-stuff. But his body was the

 

responsibility of Chief Engineer Scott,

 

who had decreed he must be taken back to Earth and

 

buried in the family plot.

 

Everyone assumed Captain Spock's casket

 

would burn up in the outer atmosphere of the Genesis

 

world. So Admiral Kirk had intended. But

 

Saavik had disobeyed his order. Instead, she

 

programmed a course that intersected the last fading

 

resonance of the Genesis effect. When the coffin

 

encountered the edge of the wave, matter had exploded

 

into energy. Within the wave, the energy that had been

 

Spock's body coalesced into sub-quarkian

 

particles, thence, in almost unmea- surable fractions

 

of a second, to normal atomic matter. He was

 

now a part of that distant world. He was gone. She would

 

never see him again.

 

 

The Search For Spock

 

She wondered how long she would be affected by the

 

persistent, illogical certainty that he remained

 

nearby.

 

"David," she said suddenly, "what is

 

the purpose of this gathering?"

 

David hesitated, wondering if he understood it

 

well enough to explain it to anyone else. "It's a

 

tradition," he said. "It's like Dr. McCoy said

 

a while ago, it's to celebrate the lives of people

 

who have died."

 

"Would it not make more sense to celebrate while a

 

person is still living?"

 

"How would you know when to have the

 

celebration?"

 

"You would have it whenever you liked. Then no death would

 

be necessary. The person being celebrated could attend the

 

party, and no one would have to feel sad."

 

David wondered if she were pulling his leg. He

 

decided that was an unworthy suspicion. Besides,

 

he could see her point.

 

"The thing is," he said, "the funeral yesterday,

 

and the wake today . . . they aren't really for the people who

 

died."

 

"I do not understand."

 

"They're for the people who are left behind. People humans,

 

I mean need to express their feelings. Otherwise

 

we bottle them up inside and they make us sick."

 

This sounded like the purest hocus-pocus

 

to Saavik, who had spent half her life

 

learning to control her emotions.

 

"You mean," she said" "this procedure is meant

 

to make people feel better?"

 

"That's right."

 

 

STAR TREK 111

 

"Then why does everyone look so unhappy?"

 

David could not help it. He laughed.

 

The door to Carol's cabin sensed her and slid

 

open. She stopped. Jim stopped. Carol said

 

nothing. Jim tried to decide on exactly the right

 

words.

 

"Carom"

 

"Good night, Jim."

 

"But his

 

"Leave me alone!" she said. The evenness of her

 

voice dissolved in anger.

 

"I thought . . ."

 

"What? That you could come along after twenty years and

 

pick up again right where you left off?"

 

"I was thinking more in terms of "we.""

 

"Oh, that's cute there never was any

 

"we!"""

 

"There's David."

 

"Do you think you're so great in bed that no

 

woman would ever want another man after you? Do you

 

think I've spent all these years just waiting for you

 

to come back?"

 

"NO, of course not. But was He stopped. That

 

she might be involved with someone else simply had not

 

occurred to him, and he was embarrassed to admit it.

 

"Of course I didn't mean that," he said. "But

 

we were good together, once, and we're both alone his

 

"Alone!" Her eyes suddenly filled with tears.

 

"Carol, I don't understand."

 

"dance Madison and I were lovers!"

 

"I didn't realise," he said lamely.

 

"You would have, if you'd listened. I've been trying

 

to talk about him. I just wanted to talk about him

 

to somebody. Even to you. I want people to remember what

 

he was like. He

 

deserves to be remembered. I dream about

 

him I dream about the way he died his

 

 

The Search For Spock

 

Jim took a step backward, retreating from the

 

fury and accusation in her voice. His old enemy,

 

Khan Singh, had murdered all the members of the

 

Genesis team except Carol and David. The people

 

he captured refused to give him the information

 

he demanded, so he killed them. He opened a vein

 

in Madison's throat and let him slowly bleed

 

to death.

 

Carol flung herself into her cabin. The door

 

slid shut behind her, cutting Jim Kirk off, all

 

alone, in the passageway outside.

 

David finally stopped laughing. He wiped his

 

eyes. Saavik hoped he would explain to her what

 

he found so funny.

 

She watched him intently. He looked up. Their

 

gazes met.

 

He glanced quickly away, then back again.

 

David's eyes were a clear, intense blue.

 

She reached toward him, realised what she was doing,

 

and froze. David touched her before she could draw

 

away.

 

"What is it?" he said. He wrapped his fingers

 

around her hand in an easy grip.

 

He could not hold her hand without her

 

acquiescence, for she could crush his bones with a

 

single clenching of her fist. This she had no intention of

 

doing.

 

"For many years," Saavik said, "I have tried

 

to be Vulcan."

 

"I know."

 

David was one of the few people with whom she had ever

 

discussed her background. Though she had learned

 

to control her strongest emotions most of the time, she

 

never pretended to herself that they were nonexistent.

 

"But I am not all Vulcan, and I will never

 

be," she

 

 

STAR TREK 111

 

said, "any more than Mr. Spock. He said to me

 

. . ." She paused, uncertain how David would

 

react. "He said I was unique, and that I must

 

find my own path."

 

"Good advice for anybody," David said.

 

Saavik drew her hand from David's grasp and

 

picked up his drink. She barely tasted it. The

 

raw, unaged alcohol slid fiery across her

 

tongue, and the potent fumes seemed to go straight

 

to her brain. She put down the glass. David

 

watched her curiously.

 

"David," she said hesitantly, "I am under

 

the im- pression that you have positive feelings toward

 

me. Is that true?"

 

"It's very true," he said.

 

"Will you help me find my path?"

 

"If I can."

 

"Will you come to my cabin with me?"

 

"Yes," he said. "I will."

 

"Now?"

 

In reply, he put his hand in hers again, and they

 

walked together from the recreation hall.

 

Jim Kirk strode down the corridor,

 

upset, angry, embarrassed.

 

He nearly ran into his son and Lieutenant

 

Saavik.

 

"Oh Hi, kids." He collected himself

 

quickly. Long years of experience had made him an

 

expert at hiding distress from subordinates.

 

"Uh . . . hi," David said. Saavik said

 

nothing; she simply gazed at him with her cool

 

imperturbability.

 

"Got to be too much for you in there?" Kirk said,

 

nodding toward the rec hall behind them. "I never should have

 

let McCoy and Scott have their way about it."

 

They looked at him without replying. After a long

 

hesitation, Saavik finally spoke.

 

 

The Search For Spock

 

"Indeed," she said, -- "it is not a ceremony

 

Captain Spock would have approved. It is neither

 

logical nor rational."

 

Kirk flinched at the echoes of Spock's

 

voice in Saavik's words. He had known Spock

 

longer than she had, but she had spent more time working with the

 

Vulcan in the past few years, when Kirk was tied

 

to a desk by an unbreakable chain of paperwork.

 

"Perhaps you're right," he said. "But funerals and

 

wakes aren't for the person who is dead, they're for the

 

people left behind."

 

"It is interesting," Saavik said, "that David

 

said precisely the same thing. I fail, however,

 

to grasp this explanation."

 

"It isn't easily explained," Kirk said.

 

"And I can understand why you wouldn't think of Spock in

 

relation to a gathering where everybody was doing their best

 

to get drunk. I was going to go to the observation deck,

 

instead. Have either of you been up there? David,

 

surely you haven't had a chance to see it. Would you like

 

to come along?"

 

"I am familiar with the observation deck,"

 

Saavik said.

 

"I'd sure like to see it," David said, "any

 

other time. But Lieutenant Saavik wanted

 

to check some readings on the bridge."

 

Kirk glanced from David, to Saavik, and

 

back. Saavik started to say something, but

 

stopped. A blush colored David's

 

transparently fair

 

complexion. Kirk realised that he had put his

 

foot in his mouth for the second time in ten minutes.

 

He, too, began to blush.

 

"I see," he said. "Important work. Carry

 

on, then." He turned and strode quickly away.

 

Saavik watched him until he had passed out of

 

sight around a corner.

 

 

STAR TREK lll

 

"Nothing needs to be checked on the bridge,

 

David," she said.

 

"I had to say something," David said. "I

 

didn't want to discuss our personal affairs with

 

him. It isn't any of his business."

 

"But why did he not remind you that the computer would

 

announce any change in the ship's status?"

 

"I don't know," David said, though he knew

 

perfectly well.

 

"He has not commanded a starship in a long time,"

 

she said. "Perhaps he forgot."

 

"That must be it."

 

They continued down the corridor to Saavik's

 

cabin. Inside, David blinked, waiting

 

for his eyes to accustom themselves to the low light. The

 

room held no decorations, only the severe

 

furnishings standard issue in Starfleet, but the warm

 

and very dry air carried a hot, resiny scent, like the

 

sunbaked pitch of pine trees at high noon in

 

summer.

 

Saavik stopped with her back to David.

 

"Saavik," David said, "I just want you to know

 

maybe we don't need to worry, but where I was

 

raised it's good manners to tell you I passed all

 

my exams in biocontrol. his

 

"I, too," she said softly. "I always regarded

 

learning to regulate the reproductive ability

 

merely as an interesting exercise. Until now . .

 

."

 

Her voice trailed off.

 

David realised that she was trembling. He put

 

his hands gently on her shoulders.

 

"I have traveled far, and I have seen much,"

 

Saavik said. "I have studied.... But study and

 

action are very different."

 

"I know," David said. "It's all right, it will

 

be all right."

 

Saavik reached up, and her hair fell free

 

around her

 

 

The Search For Spock

 

shoulders. It was thick and soft and dark, and it

 

smelled of evergreens.

 

Jim Kirk did go to the observation deck. He

 

opened the portals and spent a long time staring at the

 

stars. After a while, the romantic in his soul

 

overcame the admiral in his mind. The pain and

 

grief surrounding Spock's death eased, the

 

embarrassing encounter with David and Saavik began

 

to seem humorous, and even his

 

misunderstanding of Carol's wishes became less

 

lacerating in his memory. The whole galaxy lay

 

around hirn.

 

He fancied he could still see the star of the Genesis

 

world, far behind, a hot white star red-shifted toward

 

yellow as the Enterprise raced away, an

 

unimposing young star made fuzzy by the planetary

 

nebula that surrounded it, by the remnants of the

 

Mutara Nebula. The matter in the nebula had

 

been blasted apart by the Genesis wave, blasted beyond

 

atoms, beyond subatomic particles, beyond quarks,

 

down to the sub- elementary particles that Vance

 

Madison and his partner Del March had whimsically

 

named

 

"sparks" and "boojums."

 

Khan Singh had set off the Genesis wave in

 

an attempt to destroy Jim Kirk, an

 

attempt that had very nearly succeeded. Thus he set

 

in

 

motion what? Even Carol could not say. The

 

resonances in the wave were designed to work upon a very

 

different environment. No one could know what had come

 

into existence on the

 

Genesis world without going back and exploring it.

 

Jim Kirk had many reasons for wanting to see that

 

done and, what was more, for wanting to do it himself.

 

First he had to return to Earth. To accomplish that,

 

he needed a crew that in the morning would be able to think

 

of something other than their hangovers. Realiz

 

lg

 

STAR TREK 111

 

ing that he had been up here all alone for nearly

 

an hour, he decided it was about time to go back to the

 

recreation deck and shut things down.

 

He closed the portals against the stars.

 

David dozed in the intoxicating warmth of

 

Saavik's body. Vulcans and, David

 

supposed, Romulans, too had a body

 

temperature several degrees above that of

 

human beings.

 

"Lying next to you is like Iying in the shade on a

 

hot summer's day," Saavik said.

 

David chuckled sleepily. "You must be

 

psychic."

 

"Only slightly," she said. "Vulcans and

 

Romulans both have the ability in some measure.

 

My talent for it is quite limited. But why do you say

 

so now?"

 

"I was just thinking that Iying next to you is like being in

 

the sun on the first warm day of spring."

 

She turned suddenly toward him and hugged him

 

close. Her hair fell across his shoulders. He

 

put his arms around her and held her. She had been

 

raised first among Romulans who rejected her,

 

then in the Vulcan tradition which denied any need for

 

closeness or passion. He wondered if anyone had

 

ever held her before.

 

She drew back and lay beside him, barely touching

 

him, as if ashamed of her instant's impulse.

 

David was not so ready to ignore the intimacy.

 

He traced the smooth, strong line of

 

Saavik's collarbone with the tip of one finger. He

 

had never been with anyone like her in his life. He

 

caressed the hollow of her throat and cupped

 

his hand around the point of her left shoulder. He had

 

felt the scar on her smooth skin earlier, but just then

 

the time had been wrong for questions. Now, though, he

 

touched the scar in the dark and found it to be a complex,

 

regular pattern.

 

"How'd you get that?" he asked.

 

She said nothing for so long that David wondered if

 

 

The Search For Spock

 

his bad habit of asking questions off the top of his

 

head had got him into trouble again.

 

"Sorry," he said. "Idle curiosity it's

 

none of my business."

 

"It is a Romulan family mark," Saavik

 

said.

 

"A family mark!" She had told him that she

 

did not know the identity of either of her parents, that she

 

did not even know which parent was Vulcan and which

 

Romulan. "Does that mean you could find your

 

family?"

 

"David," she said, and he thought he could detect

 

a hint of dry humor in her voice, "why would I

 

want to find my Romulan family?"

 

Since the likelihood was that a Romulan had

 

borne or sired her in order

 

to demonstrate complete power over a Vulcan

 

prisoner, David could see her point.

 

"I never heard of family marks," he said.

 

"That is not surprising. Information about them may

 

only be passed on orally. It is a capital

 

crime in the Romulan empire to make permanent

 

records of them. his

 

"Why don't you have the mark removed?

 

Doesn't it remind you of unpleasant times?"

 

"I do not wish to forget those times," Saavik said,

 

"any more than I wish to forget Mr. Spock.

 

All those memories are important to me. Besides,

 

it may have its use, someday."

 

"How?"

 

"Should I have the misfortune to encounter my

 

Romulan parent, it is absolute proof of our

 

relationship."

 

"But if you don't want to know your Romulan

 

parent . . ."

 

"The family mark permits me to demand

 

certain rights," Saavik said. "It would be

 

considered very bad manners to refuse a family

 

member's challenge to a death-duel."

 

 

STAR TREK 111

 

"A duel!"

 

"Yes. How else avenge myself? How else

 

avenge my Vulcan parent, who surely died with

 

my birth?"

 

David lay back on the narrow bunk, stunned

 

by Saavik's matter-of-fact discussion of deep,

 

implacable hatred.

 

"I never thought of Vulcans as demanding an eye

 

for an eye and a tooth for a tooth."

 

"But I am not as Vulcans never cease to remind

 

me a proper Vulcan."

 

"Wouldn't it be easier, wouldn't it be safer, to I

 

don't know, sue the Romulans for

 

reparations?"

 

"Spoken like a truly civilised human,"

 

Saavik said. "But if I am only half a

 

Vulcan, I am in no part human. Mr.

 

Spock was right I must follow my own path."

 

David moved his hand from her shoulder. The intensity

 

of her feelings surprised him, though it should not, not

 

any more, not after tonight.

 

"Don't worry, David," Saavik said, in

 

response to his unease. "I am hardly going

 

to defect to the Romulan empire in order to find a

 

creature I have no real wish to meet. The

 

chance of my ever meeting my Romulan parent is

 

vanishingly small."

 

"I guess," David said. The Federation had,

 

at best, fragile diplomatic relations with the

 

Romulans. It was a connection like a fuse,

 

continually threatening to burst into flame and ignite a more

 

serious conflagration.

 

Saavik guided his hand back to her shoulder.

 

"It feels good when you touch it," she said. "The

 

coolness of your hand is soothing."

 

"Were you born with it? Or is it a tattoo?"

 

"Neither. It is a brand."

 

"A brand!"

 

"They apply it soon after one is out of the womb."

 

"Gods, what a thing to do to a little baby. Good thing

 

you can't remember it."

 

 

The Search For Spock

 

"What makes you think I cannot remember it?"

 

Horrified, David said, "You mean you can?"

 

"Of course. The white glow is the first beautiful

 

thing I ever encountered, and its touch was the first pain. Do

 

you not remember your own birth?"

 

"No, not at all. I don't have any reliable

 

memories before I was two or three. Most

 

people don't."

 

"But most people do, David," Saavik said. "At

 

least, in my experience. Perhaps you mean most humans

 

do not?"

 

"Yeah," David said. "Sorry. Bad

 

habit."

 

"No offence taken. I am always glad to learn

 

something new about a fellow intelligent species.

 

The last few hours have been very rewarding. I have

 

learned a great deal."

 

David did not know quite how to take that, so he

 

replied with an inarticulate "Hmm?"

 

"Yes," Saavik said. "I feel that my

 

experiments have been most instructive."

 

"Is that all I am to you?" David said. "An

 

experiment?" He suddenly felt very hurt and

 

disappointed, and he realised that his attraction toward

 

Saavik was a great deal more than

 

physical, something much deeper and much

 

stronger.

 

"That is one of the things you are to me," she said in an

 

even tone. "'And not the least. But not the most, either.

 

You have helped me learn that I have capabilities

 

I believed I did not possess."

 

"Like the capacity to love?"

 

"I . . . I am unprepared to make that

 

claim. I do not even comprehend the concept."

 

David laughed softly. "Neither does anybody

 

else."

 

"Indeed? My research is unfinished I thought

 

I simply had not encountered a satisfactory

 

definition."

 

"It isn't something you can quantify."

 

"Someone should conduct experiments."

 

 

STAR TREK 111

 

"Experiments!" David said, slightly shocked.

 

"Certainly. Perhaps we might collaborate on

 

a paper.

 

"Saavik his

 

"I have heard a speculation. I am curious

 

to know whether it is true, or merely

 

apocryphal."

 

"All right," David said, beyond surprise.

 

"What speculation is that?"

 

Saavik turned toward him, propped herself

 

tilde up on one elbow, and let her hair spill

 

over his shoulder and across his chest.

 

"It is," she said, "that Romulans are

 

insatiable. Would you care to test this

 

hypothesis?"

 

David laughed. He reached up and touched her

 

face in the dark. He traced the lines of her

 

lips, and found that she was smiling. She had just

 

discovered another capability that few people would

 

suspect her of possess- ing. She had a

 

terrific sense of humor.

 

"Why don't we do that?" David sai d.

 

- Jim Kirk strode into the recreation hall.

 

The wake had deteriorated even further.

 

Cadets stood alone or in small groups, sinking

 

into silent depression. Scott clutched a drink and

 

talked continuously and intensely to a single captive

 

trainee. McCoy lay sprawled in his chair. As

 

a catharsis, this gathering was a wretched failure.

 

It succeeded only in intensifying everyone's feelings

 

of pain and loss and guilt. Kirk stopped by a

 

small group of cadets.

 

"I think it's about time to pack it in for the night,"

 

he said. "You're all dismissed."

 

"Yessir," one of the cadets said. Her

 

relieved smile, quick, and quickly hidden, was the first

 

smile Kirk had seen all day.

 

The cadets, just waiting for an excuse to escape

 

 

 

The Search For Spock

 

sepulchral atmosphere, all accepted his order

 

without objection or argument. The trainees still sober

 

enough to be ambulatory helped their friends who had

 

overin- dulged. Within a few minutes, the only

 

cadet left was the one listening to Mr. Scott's

 

tirade. Kirk joined them. The cadet looked

 

pale and drawn.

 

"Scatty was Kirk said, when Scott paused for

 

breath.

 

"Aye, Captain, life doesna make sense

 

sometimes, I was just sayin" to Grenni here, "tie the

 

good ones go before their time his

 

"Mr. Scott his

 

was there's no denyin" it. The boy had guts.

 

He had potential his

 

"Commander Scott!"

 

"Aye, sir? What's wrong, Admiral? Why

 

are ye soundin' so perturbed?"

 

Kirk sighed. "Perturbed, Mr. Scott?

 

Whatever makes you think I'm perturbed? You're

 

dismissed,

 

cadet." still

 

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." The

 

cadet's voice shook. still He fled.

 

"Mr. Scott, we'll reach Regulus tomorrow, and

 

I need a coherent crew. Go to bed."

 

"But my poor bairn I wished to have all o' us

 

sing a song for him. Do ye know "Danny Boy,"

 

Captain?"

 

"That's an order, Mr. Scott."

 

"Aye, sir." Scott commenced to sing. ""O

 

Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling

 

?"'

 

"Mister Scott!"

 

Scott stopped singing and gazed at him blearily,

 

blinking and confused, as Kirk's tone finally got through

 

to him.

 

""Sing "Danny Boy"" is not an order.

 

"Go to bed" is an order."

 

"Oh. Begging your pardon, sir. Aye, sir."

 

 

STAR TREK 111

 

Scott glanced around him, as if searching for some-

 

thing. Suddenly he looked very tired and old. He

 

trudged away.

 

McCoy was the last member of the wake remaining.

 

Jim sat on his heels beside McCoy's chair.

 

The doctor snored softly.

 

"Bones," Jim said, shaking him softly.

 

"Bones, wake up."

 

McCoy flinched, muttered something incomprehen-

 

sible, and lapsed back into snoring.

 

"Come on, old friend." Jim dragged McCoy's

 

arm across his shoulder and hoisted him to his feet.

 

McCoy sagged against him and muttered a few more

 

words. Jim froze.

 

"What?"',

 

McCoy straightened up, swaying, and looked

 

Kirk directly in the eye.

 

"Using a metabolic poison as a recreational

 

drug is totally illogical."

 

McCoy collapsed.

 

..

 

 

Chapter 2

 

Dr. Christine Chapel watched herself function

 

efficiently. She felt very much like two different people,

 

one performing as she should, the other separated from the world

 

by shock. She felt numb and clumsy. That she could

 

function at all astonished her. Yet she did

 

what needed to be done, caring for the crew members,

 

mostly young cadets, who had been injured during

 

Khan

 

Singh's attacks; dispensing hangover remedies

 

to those who had neglected to take a preventive after

 

Mr. Spock's wake; and looking in

 

occasionally on Leonard McCoy. She was

 

extremely concerned about him.

 

She paused in the doorway of the cubicle in which

 

she and Admiral Kirk had put him the night before.

 

She left the lights on very low. She suspected that

 

when Leonard woke, his headache would be a credit

 

to its species.

 

He moaned and muttered something. Chris

 

moved

 

 

STAR TREK 111

 

farther into the small room, squinting to see better

 

in the dim light. Leonard tossed on the bunk, his

 

face shining with sweat. His tunic was soaked. Chris

 

felt his forehead. His temperature was elevated, not

 

yet dangerously so, but certainly enough to make him

 

uncomfortable.

 

"Leonard," she said softly.

 

He sat bolt upright, staring straight ahead.

 

Slowly he turned to look at her. He moved in

 

a way she had never seen him move before, but in a

 

way that was eerily familiar.

 

"Vulcans," he said, in a voice much lower

 

than his own, "do not love."

 

Chris took an involuntary step backward.

 

"How dare you say that to me?" she said, in a

 

quiet, angry voice. The pain pierced through the

 

numbness to her enclosed, repressed grief and

 

spread like fire through her. She turned, hiding her

 

face in her hands. She could not break down now. The

 

ship had to have a doctor, and McCoy was in no

 

shape to take over.

 

The obsession she had had with Spock for so long still

 

embarrassed her, though it had burned out years before.

 

She had forced herself beyond it by sheer determination and by the

 

power of the knowledge that what she desired from him, he simply

 

could not give. His inability to respond to her had

 

nothing to do with Christine Chapel. He had never had

 

the choice between "interested" and "uninterested." All his

 

training and experience required him to be disinterested,

 

and so he had behaved.

 

Once Chris accepted that, she began to

 

appreciate his unique integrity. It took a

 

long time for her to get over her youthful fantasies,

 

but once she did, her fondness for Spock

 

strengthened. Losing a friend, she had discovered in the

 

past few days, was much worse 28

 

The Search For Spock

 

than losing a remotely potential and

 

unrequiting lover. Accepting Spock's death, she

 

thought, would be an even longer and more difficult task

 

than persuading herself not that he never would love her, but

 

that he never could.

 

She took her hands from her face and

 

straightened up, under control again. This was a bad

 

time to cry. Leonard McCoy's sense of humor

 

was quirky, but not cruel. For him to say what he

 

had said to her meant either that something was seriously wrong

 

or the simplest, if least flattering, possibility

 

that he was still intoxicated.

 

Saavik woke suddenly and sat up, startled.

 

Mr. Spock was speaking to her. His deep voice still

 

echoed in her cabin. Saavik was not prepared

 

to answer hm.she was dazzled by strange dreams and

 

fantasies.

 

"But I am not a Vulcan," she said. "You said

 

to me his

 

She stopped. He was not here he had never been

 

here. Spock was gone.

 

Spock's voice had sounded so real . . . but

 

what she thought was reality was a cruel dream, and what

 

for a moment had seemed impossible

 

fantasy was real.

 

David lay sleeping beside her, cool and fair.

 

She touched his shoulder lightly. He stirred gently

 

but did not wake. Saavik wondered if she could be

 

going mad with grief, or with guilt. She did not

 

feel mad.

 

But Spock's voice had seemed so real . . .

 

Delicately, Farrendahl nibbled at the

 

fur-covered web of skin at the base of the first and

 

second fingers of her right paw. A bad habit,

 

she knew it, one-she had picked up from a human

 

shipmate who bit his nails. A human's nails

 

were such flimsy things that it hardly 29

 

STAR TREK 111

 

mattered whether they were damaged or properly

 

sharp, but Farrendahl would never sink so low as to bite

 

her claws. They were far too useful.

 

At times like these, though, she needed a nervous

 

habit to fall back on. Her primate-type

 

crewmates either objected to or thought amusing the more

 

obvious forms of grooming. Never mind that she found

 

them soothing. Farrendahl did not like to be laughed

 

at. Primates, humanoids as they preferred

 

to call themselves in Standard, could be astonishingly

 

repellent when they laughed.

 

Farrendahl sat on her haunches in the

 

navigator's hammock, chewing on her paw and

 

blinking at the unfamiliar stars. Having passed out

 

of Federation space and into the grey area between set

 

borders some hours before, the ship now fell under the

 

protection of no one. It had become potential

 

prey to all. This, Farrendahl disliked intensely.

 

A signal came through her console. She blinked

 

at it, too, then in response to the new order

 

changed the course of the ship for the third time in a single

 

circadian. The resulting course, if left

 

unchanged, would bring the ship face to face with the

 

Klingons. This, Farrendahl disliked even more.

 

No wonder their mysterious passenger was unwilling

 

to name a destination. No wonder the ship's grapevine

 

sprouted rumors of an enormous payment to the

 

captain. Great wonder, though, if the captain

 

passed on part of his largesse in the crew's

 

bonuses without a confrontation.

 

"I dislike the scent of this," Farrendahl said.

 

She growled softly in irritation. "It smelled

 

bad when we began, and its odor has become

 

progressively more putrid."

 

Her compatriot bared his teeth in that offensive

 

30

 

The Search For Spock

 

primate way, and an intermittent choking noise

 

came from his throat. In short, he laughed.

 

"Since when do cats learn anything useful from their

 

sense of smell?" he said.

 

Compatriot to A high-class word to apply

 

to any member of this ship's crew of ill-mannered,

 

poorly reared mercenaries.

 

"Since when," Farrendahl said to Tran, "have I

 

been a cat?" Instead of baring her teeth, which another

 

member of her own species would have recognised as a

 

threat, she placed her paw on the scarred control

 

panel. She stretched out her fingers so her paw

 

became a hand, then slowly extended her claws. The

 

sharp tips scratched the panel with a gradual,

 

hair-raising shriek.

 

"A cat?" Tran exclaimed. "Did I

 

call you a cat? Who in their right mind would call you

 

a cat?"

 

"I saw a cat once," Farrendahl said

 

matter-of-factly. "It was digging through a garbage

 

heap in a back alley on Amenhotep IX. I

 

disliked it. Please explain the similarities between

 

it and me."

 

"Don't push it , Farrendahl."

 

"But I desire to be enlightened."

 

"All right. Both of you were in the back alley,

 

weren't you?"

 

Farrendahl leapt, knocking Tran to the deck.

 

The artificial gravity, set for economy's

 

sake at an annoyingly low intensity, turned her

 

attack and Tran's fall into a most

 

unsatisfactory series of slow bounces. But they

 

ended up as Farrendahl planned, with the human on the

 

floor and her claws and teeth at his throat. This was

 

a main reason she never bit her claws.

 

"And was there not an ugly monkey-looking

 

creature in that same back alley, only insensible

 

from noxious recreational drugs?"

 

"Probably there was," Tran said, laughing

 

again. 31

 

STAR TREK 111

 

Farrendahl bristled her whiskers out,

 

acknowledging Tran's good-humored surrender.

 

She was about to release him when the captain walked in

 

on them. He stopped, folded his arms across his chest,

 

and glared at the crew members.

 

"If you two haven't any work, I can find

 

some," he said. "We don't have time for your continual

 

horsing around."

 

Farrendahl growled softly and rose, extending

 

her hand to Tran to help him rise. He leaped

 

to his feet like a gymnast in the low gravity.

 

"A cat, a monkey, now a horse,"

 

Farrendahl said in a low voice. "Perhaps our

 

mysterious mission is to transport a menagerie."

 

Tran chuckled and returned to his place at the

 

control console.

 

"I heard that," the captain said. "Ten

 

demerits."

 

"You're in a charming mood today, Captain,"

 

Farrendahl said. She ignored the threat of

 

demerits. She had already earned so many that ten more

 

scarcely counted. Demerits were a source of great

 

hilarity among the crew, ever since the time they

 

precipitated a minor mutiny. One

 

planetfall, on a more or less civilised world and

 

after a long, boring journey, the captain forbade

 

Farrendahl, Tran, and several others to leave the

 

ship. Too many demerits, he said. Farrendahl

 

said nothing. She simply ignored him, and she and the

 

others went out anyway.

 

He could have left while they were rousting around. He

 

could have locked them off the ship and hired another

 

crew. But he stayed where he was, leaving the

 

ship open to them when they returned. Apparently he

 

preferred his tried and semi-competent, if

 

insolent, people to a new bunch that he would have to have

 

trained.

 

 

The Search For Spock

 

He continued to assign demerits, but that was the

 

only time he ever referred to them, and he never again

 

tried to use them for anything.

 

The captain ignored Farrendahl's smart

 

remark and paused at the control console.

 

Farrendahl despised him on every possible level.

 

He

 

possessed power and the title of captain not because he

 

deserved them or had earned them but simply because he

 

owned the ship. He knew little about running it and less

 

about the comput- ers that formed its guts.

 

"Perhaps you are concerned that we will discover what you are

 

being paid for this trip," Farrendahl said, putting him

 

on notice that they all did know and that they all

 

expected their cut.

 

He glared at her as she slipped smoothly into the

 

navigator's hammock. He kept his silence.

 

He was a bully, but he was also a coward, and he

 

avoided any serious confrontation with

 

Farrendahl.

 

"When do we find out where we are really

 

going?"

 

"When you need to know," he said.

 

"Waste of fuel," Farrendahl said just loudly enough

 

for him to hear. It amused her that he would worry the

 

comment around in his mind, trying to find a way to conserve

 

the fuel wasted by their roundabout route. If he had ever

 

learned to pilot his ship himself, he would not have to depend

 

on Farrendahl. She supposed she should be

 

grateful for his lack of application.

 

The contempt in which she held him was

 

diluted by her awareness of her own failings and

 

limitations. She had been disappointed when, after the

 

"mutiny," the captain capitulated to his

 

impertinent crew. But she might have found another

 

berth whatever else she was, she was an able

 

navigator, and nabled tilde and then a shipmaster

 

turned up who was willing to waive small matters

 

like papers and background. She could have

 

 

STAR TREK 111

 

found another place, but she did not. Inertia

 

kept her in the same, riskless position. Beneath her

 

contempt for the captain lurked a certain

 

contempt for herself. Perhaps they deserved each other.

 

The captain remained by the console, his attitude

 

that of one studying the readings, his eyes with the blank

 

stare of someone who had no idea what he was looking

 

at.

 

"We're on course," Farrendahl said, "as

 

long as you don't have any more changes in mind.

 

Unless you do, I am going to sleep."

 

Lacking any reply, she slid from the hammock

 

and padded away toward her cabin.

 

David stepped out of the turbo-lift, onto the

 

bridge. Saavik, already on duty, glanced over

 

her shoulder at him. A look passed between them that they

 

innocently assumed no one else noticed or

 

understood. Saavik returned her attention to her work

 

as if it were easy for her. David wrestled himself

 

back to this morning and away from last night.

 

It must be nice, David thought, to have the ability

 

to control your feelings so completely. Being able

 

to focus one's attention on a single subject

 

gave remarkable results.

 

"Good morning, David," James Kirk said.

 

"Uh, hi." David could not bring himself to call

 

Kirk "father." More than twenty years lay between them,

 

years during which they could have known each other.

 

David wondered what he would be like if he had known

 

James Kirk as his father when it might have made a

 

difference. He had found some reason to respect the

 

Starfleet officer. Affection would take longer.

 

Kirk responded to David's unease. "How

 

would you feel about calling me 'Jim"?" 34

 

The Search For Spock

 

"Okay, I guess."

 

Kirk paused for a moment, then turned away again.

 

David realised had hurt the admiral's feelings

 

with his lukewarm response.

 

"This is going to take some getting used to," he

 

said.

 

"Yes," Kirk said. "For me, too. We need

 

to talk about it. In private." coma

 

David took the hint and kept the personal

 

matters to himself, saving them for someplace other than the

 

bridge of the Enterprise.

 

"There it is," Kirk said.

 

In the viewscreen, Regulus I hung dark and

 

mysterious before them. The barren worldlet had always given

 

David an eerie feeling. It had never evolved

 

life. It had never had a chance of evolving life.

 

It had no water and no air and too little gravity

 

to hold either one. But Genesis had changed

 

all that. The planetoid's interior had been

 

turned into an entire, new, inside-out world, one with

 

an ecosystem designed from scratch by Carol

 

Marcus' team. It was like a Jules Verne novel

 

brought to reality, and David was proud of his part in

 

creating it. The memory of the short time he had spent

 

beneath the surface of the world remained as a warm glow of

 

pride and power. He wanted to go back inside and

 

explore. No experiment ever turned out

 

precisely as one planned. David wanted

 

to discover the

 

unexpected results. They were always the most

 

interesting.

 

Spacelab drifted in its orbit, a shadowed

 

silver flash against the limb of the planetoid. The

 

Starfleet science ship Grissom lay in a

 

matching orbit, waiting for the Enterprise. The ship

 

and the laboratory satellite gradually entered the

 

shadow of their primary, vanishing into the featureless

 

darkness. David shivered. He had lived and worked

 

on the research station for two years. He had called

 

it home. Now it felt alien and threatening. If

 

 

STAR TREK 111

 

hauntings were possible, it must be haunted.

 

On Spacelab, no one was left alive. The

 

bodies of the people Khan Singh had murdered lay

 

waiting to be returned to Earth and to their graves.

 

As the transporter beam faded from the newly

 

materialised form of Captain J.t. Esteban,

 

James Kirk waited to greet him. Esteban

 

stepped down. They shook hands.

 

"Welcome aboard, J.t.," Kirk said.

 

"It's been a while."

 

"It has that," Esteban said. "An eventful

 

while, too. You folks have things in quite a tizzy,

 

back home."

 

Kirk led Esteban to the nearest turbo-lift.

 

"I don't believe I follow you," he said.

 

"Will Dr. Marcus-be available, Jim?"

 

J.t. said. "I need to talk to the both of you."

 

They stepped into the lift. "Officer's lounge,"

 

Jim said, and felt the faint acceleration as the lift

 

whisked them toward their destination. "I'll have Dr.

 

Marcus paged." Kirk contacted Uhura.

 

"Uhura, Kirk here. Would you ask Dr.

 

Marcus to meet Captain Esteban and me in the

 

officer's lounge?"

 

"Certainly, Admiral."

 

"Thanks. Kirk out. was He turned off

 

the

 

intercom. He could sense the tension in the captain

 

of the Grissom. "What's going on, J.t.?"

 

"I just think it would save time to talk to you both at

 

once." Esteban was deliberately

 

misunderstanding the question, and Jim did not push it. They

 

tried to make small talk, but it was strained.

 

"The galaxy ships are already paying off,"

 

Esteban said. "Have you heard?"

 

"We've been out of touch," Jim said drily.

 

"Of course. But a subspace transmission just

 

came 36

 

The Search For Spock

 

through it made all the news services.

 

Magellan is in Andromeda. It just completed the first

 

close-range observation of a supernova."

 

"That's very impressive," Jim said. And for all

 

his offhandedness, he was impressed. Andromeda!

 

Another galaxy, millions and millions of